Some couples who are having difficulty with one another are getting ready to launch their last child or have already done so. They realize they have put their attention and some of their needs on to their children and have developed a distance or gap with their partner. As a result of not being connected resentment can build and unfinished business pops up as the anticipation of being alone with the partner develops a.
One of the most common complaints I hear from these couples is that one partner feels the other hasn’t been there for them. One might feel the other has put more energy outside the family like a job or activities and the other feels that they weren’t important to their partner that the kids were the priority. Now there is an emptiness between them and anxiety about being alone together.
I help these couples by talking about how they lost their importance to each other during the time they were raising their children. We discuss how their relationship style with each other reinforced the disconnect that happened, and how having to be responsible for their children added to that. We talk about how to heal the emotional pain they are feeling and set a plan on how to connect in the future.