When you first got together with your partner it was bliss. Now that you and your partner have moved in together with your partner’s children and yours, it feels like the rules changed. That bliss is gone. The parenting philosophies and styles of both of you don’t match up like you originally thought. You are second guessing the decision to bring your families together. You want to be a healthy and happy family but instead you are feeling like two families who are struggling to figure out how to not step on each other’s toes.
In helping these couples we talk about how difficult it is to become a blended family It is hard to understand the complexity of this. We also talk about how to identify when either partner is getting reactive because they might feel protective of their own children, feel like they have to compete with their partner’s children for attention, or when they disagree with the parenting decisions. We talk about how to keep their connection during times of conflict or disagreement. This is tricky but can be done.