We have a need to feel loved and connected with our life partners. When this happens we feel “at the top of our game.” This helps us reach our full potential as people.
It is not one person’s fault when a relationship is having some difficulty. It is usually the result of what is happening between the couple.
The main reason that we get defensive or do things that could be hurtful to our partners is that we don’t know how to ask for what we want, or express how we feel, and this is a “clumsy” attempt at trying to do so.
The thing that is most important in a relationship is that we feel that our partners understand, acknowledge, and accept how we are feeling.
We all have fears and insecurities about being in a relationship, no matter how long the relationship has lasted. This fear and insecurity is part of our human nature. Anything can set it off and we are usually not prepared for it. It is how we manage the fear and insecurity which impacts the relationship. We can get the reassurance that we need and become closer with our partners or we can allow the fear and insecurity to push us apart.
Couples can definitely help each other feel stronger individually and as a couple. We can express our feelings to each other as we learn to connect. We can feel secure, reassured, and at peace when we learn to have healthy dialogues with each other. Through couples counseling, relationship counseling, marriage counseling, attending a couples class, doing the couples intensive counseling, we can become fundamentally more sound individually, and as a couple.
For more information on this please call or email Bernie Slutsky, M.A. LICSW
Twin Cities, Minneapolis, St Louis Park, Minnetonka, Wayzata, Plymouth, Edina, Maple Grove, Bloomington, MN